This past weekend was supposed to be great. I was going to hang out with my fiance, go to a festival if the weather was nice, and if it rained I had invites to attend a few birthday parties.
Friday rolls around and my boss tells us all to go home early. Great! I'll get the weekend kicked off early. On the way home I decide to stop by my old work and say hi to the guys I haven't seen in well over a year. I see a few of them, exchange my number, and go into the office to see the boss man. The funniest shit happened. Apparently, my boss, we'll call him "Duh" got stung by a bee while riding his mountain bike. Well the bee was raping his upper lip while he was on some downhill trail, so Duh couldn't defend himself. His upper lip swelled to the size of a duck bill. I wish I had a digital camera, because his platypus face looked priceless. I tooled on their computers a little for them and they told me they were in need of a surveillance system and asked if I would write up a proposal for them. Fan-fucking-tastic! A quick bit o change in my pocket for a days work makes the weekend look even brighter. I get home and immediately get a wicked headache. This headache, it would turn out, would be my omen of things to come. By the time 8 rolled around I was sweating like a Republican Congressman watching a high school boy's wrestling match. I had a fever well over 100.
Fucking awesome, scratch the plans with the lady. The next day, my forehead is Africa hot and I feel like hammered shit so no concert. I manage to get my ass off the couch for one of the birthday parties and have as good a time as possible with a 101 degree temp, a marching band in my skull, and a self imposed 1 beer limit (a real "1", not the 1 cup thing I invented). The next day I feel shitty so I decide to give (sell) my ticket to a friend of a friend. I can't even find my fucking tickets. Now I'm out $70 for a concert I can't even go to if I feel better.
I end up consoling myself by saying that I'll catch the band I want to see most (30 Seconds to Mars) when they come to LA. I look up their tour schedule and lo and behold, they have 3 dates in CA. Sweet....but wait, their first stop in San Fran is 2 days before I go up there, that's out. Their San Diego and LA stops are when I'm in San Fran, wtf?!? Apparently all those jokes I made about retards/gays/republicans/blacks/whites/yellows/etc have come back to bite me in the ass.
To all you optimists who say "every cloud has a silver lining." Go fuck yourselves. That silver lining is toxic fucking mercury.
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4 comments:
Geez fun weekend eh? Too bad you missed Jared Leto...I'll let you know how they are when I see them at the Wiltern :P
Are you really going? I hope you get horrible scabies and all your skin has to be removed if you are.
Yes I am really going ;) Tickets on sale on Saturday!!!
I hate you so much. I would say I'm jealous, but that's an understatement. What I want is for you to die and for me to inherit your tickets and a Gulfstream IV so I can fly down for the concert and fly back to San Fran.
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