My friends are pussies.

Last night I saw The Departed, and I've got to say that the movie is tits (excellent). My night went great, I didn't have to pay for dinner because my buddy Chris (name changed for privacy) was a sucker and thought the fucking Dodgers would get to the World Series (of baseball, not poker...idiots). Anyway, he was wrong and more importantly, I was right (it happens so often you'd think I'd get tired of it). So I only had to pay for the movie. I could have had no margaritas at dinner and had Chris pay for the movie as well, but then it would have been "gay date night" and there would have been an argument as to who gets to be the top, yada yada, I paid for the movie (I'm no man's bitch).

Anyway, the movie was great (it had more headshots than a bukkake video), but I made the mistake of looking at the listing for the wrong theater in Fandango. We ended up getting to the theater an hour before the movie was supposed to start. We caught the last 10 minutes of Jackass Number 2, then went to the shit pile that is Employee of the Month. I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that I did not once naturally laugh in the movie. I laughed hysterically when I thought I was losing my mind and once out of pity for Dane Cook. I hope that poor sonofabitch banged the stupid out of Jessica Simpson because that movie was awful. I will masturbate with a hook before I watch the rest of that shit.

Anyway, you may be wondering about the title of this post in relation to its content. No correlation huh? Well evolved was supposed to hang out with us at some point, but he had a previous engagement. What was this activity that was soooo important? Watching fucking mustached Tyra Banks on America's Next Top Model! That is fucking weak. Apparently, even though he drives a pimp ass car and has a 40 something inch LCD TV, he doesn't have TiVo. "Dude, I'm not rich," was his lame excuse. I even offered to record his gay show on my VCR and give it to him after the movie. No dice. I understand that ANTM is "your show," but seriously, man to man, tell me you only watch it for possibility of a wardrobe malfunction...please tell me.

So yeah, evolved is a pussy. I'm not bitter though...no no...not bitter at all........chicken fucker.