Don't call it a comeback.

Como estas bitches? I've taken some time off, as I'm sure you've noticed, to align my oneness with the mother goddess Earth. Now that my chakras are in their correct places and my chi is focused let me just say, FUCK THIS WEATHER.

Everyone bitches about the weather, but we in California consider ourselves lucky. We don't get hurricanes, tornadoes, or hail the size of grapefruit, but we get temperature fluctuations that piss me off to no end. It's November damnit! I want cold, I want rain, I want snow covered peaks, and I'm not getting any of it. I swear, if it doesn't snow in the mountains down here this winter, I will kill Mother Nature. I bet no one has ever threatened that before. I will cunt punch Mother Nature so hard, that she will have a stillborn El Nino. Do you hear me you stupid, selfish bitch!? Fuck with my snowboarding one more time, and it is war. I will build an array of orgone powered cloudbusters and aim them at the heavens until one of two things happens. One, the heavens spill forth a bounty of powdery, white angel dandruff (snow), or the sky becomes barren and ceases to provide precipitation for any of greater Southwest.

I repeat, fuck with my snow again and I will rape and torture woodland creatures, befoul streams with monkey excrement (I can get it, don't you worry), and generally raze and degrade all things green and leafy for the rest of my days.

That, or I'll go to Canada and snowboard there, whichever costs less.