What the fuck is up with Oprah? Doesn't she have enough damn money yet? Everywhere I turn I see her evil smiling face. You might say to yourself "Fatal why do you think Oprah is evil? I think she's great." You, my friend, are a vagina. Oprah is the many headed beast that spawned the vile and odious creations Dr. Phil and Rachel Ray (she that shall not be named).
Bringing into power either of these abominations is a transgression great enough to warrant banishment to "The Pit," but The Dragon Winfrey did not stop with her first hellspawn, the shine head demon. She continued to promote her minion and spread her propaganda, and then she unleashed a banshee so shrill and annoying the mere sound of its voice flays the skin from a man's body.
The demon RR has monopolized more time on the Food Network than any other chef. More than even the Holy Grill Warrior, Bobby Flay. Her domination of basic cable culinary programming complete, the beast expanded her power base to day time talk. Thank the heavens you work during the day friend, for you escape the horror that awaits those who remain at home. The piercing shrieks that from her porcine countenance raise the hackles of dogs and man alike. The unintelligible gibberish is like the banter of a thousand child-demons.
Join me, and the crusade to destroy the true Axis of Evil, the triumvirate of those unholiest of beings from the glowing box, Oprah, Dr. Phil and Rachel Ray....*shudder*
Your tv viewing soul could be next.
It's like heroin on demand!
Who the f*** is Fatal Error?
- Fatal
- I'm a happily engaged, highly sarcastic, 5'11" male that enjoys watching the Sopranos with my fiancee and eating Thai food. I don't like judgemental people, right wing fascists, or vegan hippie types. I also dislike (in no particular order): white, black, yellow, brown, red, straight, gay, retarded, smart, rich, or poor people, or any other group that I failed to mention. In case you're a reetee and can't tell, I don't like anyone. My racial makeup is part black, part white, and part yellow. So to all of those who say I'm racist, go fuck yourselves. If I am a racist, I'm a self hating one and proud of it. I firmly believe in open dialogs about any subject in the name of progress. I also have a mean repertoire of off color jokes.
10 comments:
Ok ok....I'll give you the Oprah thing. Total freakin annoying devil beast. Dr. Phil...he's annoying as well but damn is he fun to make fun of!!! I'd say the amount of skits and characters created as a mockery of him far outweighs any other issues.
On to Rachel Rey...well I've seen her. I dont understand the big deal? Whats so bad with her? Now granted, I have never and will never watch her cooking show but damn...she doesn't seem like such a psycho hose beast that you make her out to be.
Of course I could be missing something that you have experienced and Im sure you will write a scathing remark about how dumb I am for even considering that she is an acceptable human being...so bring it on home skillet. Cant wait for the read
You sound like you could be one of her minions, calling the Beast by name. You sir, are either foolhardy or a follower of her cult. She who shant be named has increased her hegemonies from the food network to daytime tv. Soon she will be an analyst for Monday Night Football.
Her vile prophecy of total airwave domination must not be allowed to come into fruition.
So it is written, so it shall be.
HA...How can I be a follower if I barely know who she is? I probably wouldn't have heard of her if it wasn't for her....
And dude did you watch ANTM last night??? Awesome..totally awesome.
(lets see if you can figure out what ANTM stands for)
Christ...since I cant freakin edit my posts, I will correct my bad typing here.
"I probably wouldn't have heard of her if it wasn't for her...."
should be
"I probably wouldn't have heard of her if it wasn't for you...."
Stupid blogger
Phil the Phascist -- a real blot on the tubescape.... lately I've been wondering if he's really Rep. Foley in disguise...
holy crap another reader!!!!!!! Congrats Fatal. You're fan base is up to a confirmed 2
Dude, 2 readers! This would be a huge milestone if I wasn't paying one or both of you.
Don't act like you don't know who the Many Headed Dragon lady is. That's just your cover so you can attempt to infiltrate my resistance movement. Vive le freedom!
Oh, by the way, ANTM stands for America's Next Top OMG you are so gay!
whodafuck is Rachel Ray/Rey? Oh, she can cook, is that the brit chick? No, that's Nigella something or another [god, what a faggy name, could it really be a tv/ts/tg???]
Maybe I should consider myself fortunate only knowing who the other 2 are.... they're ubiquitous and unavoidable, like herpes, rats, and cockroaches...
Nigella Lawson is hot! Rachel Rey is the Devil incarnate. She has a shrill, piercing, banshee wail of a voice that strips the flesh from newborn babies.
sheeit... if you think Oprah is bad, check out one Scottie Lowe aka "afroerotik" "afroerotique" etc -- a manic depressive, bisexual white-hating self-proclaimed expert on all things sexual, psychological, social, literary,....
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